The black and the woman are not QUALIFIED. Are they?
Neil Kopulis
May they
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in
... touched on timely events and obnoxiously amusing daily minutiae of life with 'the wife' - his loving and ubiquitous, doe-eyed Fern.
The "Kneel Before Neil" column appeared weekly in the Sounder for three years, from 2005 until the paper ceased publication in 2008. |
the Sounder
Rest in Peace
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Northern Wisconsin's Viewspaper
‘President Winfrey’ not such a bad idea (really!)
by Neil Kopulis
for The Sounder
January 17, 2008
“Oh, Boo Hoo! Boo Hoo! I'm trying to be president and no one likes me...”
No, that wasn't Britney Spears, babbling away to herself in the halls of some booby hatch. It was of course Hillary Clinton -- in the opinion of yours truly, AS unfit to be president of the United States -- who cried her way out of an embarrassing 3rd place finish in the Iowa cornfields, to a dumbfounding prize turn in last week's New Hampshire primary.
What the heck??? That's all it takes? No plan? No platform...No clearcut stance on any issue? Just a wish for it to be so...a healthy (some might say ‘delusional’) sense of entitlement, a show of crocodile tears?? Where do I get the wife signed up?
Fern can crocodile cry with the best of 'em! Once, she even got invited to a wedding that way. It was our wedding, but still...I'd vote for the wife over Hillary, any day! I'd vote for anyone's wife over Hillary.
In fact, I'd have voted for that walrus-looking geezer with the jet black toupee, that governor of New Mexico, before I'd poke a chad for Hillary Clinton.
Now I like Hillary. Don't get me wrong!
Actually, no I don't...
But I've got nothing against a woman president. The wife, I think, would make a great one. Grudgingly, I also concede that I'd vote for Oprah. She obviously has SOMETHING or other to offer. If she can run a country as well as she can run herself and her empire...and/or sway the Arabs to leave us alone with the same sort of magic hypnotism she seems to hold over most of us...then hey.
It's President Winfrey for me!
It's like that scene in the Will Farrell movie about the race car driver, Ricky Bobby (“Talledega Nights”), when he thought he was on fire? He's running around the race track in his underpants, thinking he's ablaze, screaming (and I'm paraphrasing), 'Help me, Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise! Bring your witchcraft to put out the fire!'.
Exactly. And he wasn't even ON fire! This is all I'm saying.
But I don't think I'm alone in suggesting that all of the candidates this year lack a certain 'gravitas'. They're all little more than empty suits, it seems to me...with the exception, perhaps of Rudy Giuliani...who, as ex-Mayor of New York City, a former crony and supporter of the federally indicted Bernard Kerik, on the very front lines on September 11th, and presently working on his third marriage...has probably got enough drama, back-story and 'gravitas' for all of the candidates put together.
But Giuliani is a turd.
So where does that leave us as we limp into 2008 and beyond? With a war on two fronts (Iraq and Afghanistan), another one (with Iran) seemingly looming, oil at $100/barrel, gas at upwards of $3/gallon and housing, jobs and currency woes?
All of this, and Britney Spears??
Tokenism is not the answer. In the desperate ‘bucket list’-like race to install a black or woman president, there's one simple fact that keeps being ignored: the black and the woman in this race are not QUALIFIED. Are they?
Hillary's husband being president does not make Hillary qualified...and maybe it's just me, but the word ‘change’ does not really make it as a campaign promise. Whether it's Hillary because she's a woman, Obama because his skin isn't ‘white’ ... John Edwards, because he wants to end the 'old boy' corporate/lobbyist culture in Washington (which, funnily enough, so did our current unqualified White House resident) ...
‘Change’ as a concept is all well and good. As a practice, it's essential. As a WORD...just an empty promise from empty suits. It's as meaningless as tears from a crocodile.
by Neil Kopulis
for The Sounder
January 17, 2008
“Oh, Boo Hoo! Boo Hoo! I'm trying to be president and no one likes me...”
No, that wasn't Britney Spears, babbling away to herself in the halls of some booby hatch. It was of course Hillary Clinton -- in the opinion of yours truly, AS unfit to be president of the United States -- who cried her way out of an embarrassing 3rd place finish in the Iowa cornfields, to a dumbfounding prize turn in last week's New Hampshire primary.
What the heck??? That's all it takes? No plan? No platform...No clearcut stance on any issue? Just a wish for it to be so...a healthy (some might say ‘delusional’) sense of entitlement, a show of crocodile tears?? Where do I get the wife signed up?
Fern can crocodile cry with the best of 'em! Once, she even got invited to a wedding that way. It was our wedding, but still...I'd vote for the wife over Hillary, any day! I'd vote for anyone's wife over Hillary.
In fact, I'd have voted for that walrus-looking geezer with the jet black toupee, that governor of New Mexico, before I'd poke a chad for Hillary Clinton.
Now I like Hillary. Don't get me wrong!
Actually, no I don't...
But I've got nothing against a woman president. The wife, I think, would make a great one. Grudgingly, I also concede that I'd vote for Oprah. She obviously has SOMETHING or other to offer. If she can run a country as well as she can run herself and her empire...and/or sway the Arabs to leave us alone with the same sort of magic hypnotism she seems to hold over most of us...then hey.
It's President Winfrey for me!
It's like that scene in the Will Farrell movie about the race car driver, Ricky Bobby (“Talledega Nights”), when he thought he was on fire? He's running around the race track in his underpants, thinking he's ablaze, screaming (and I'm paraphrasing), 'Help me, Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise! Bring your witchcraft to put out the fire!'.
Exactly. And he wasn't even ON fire! This is all I'm saying.
But I don't think I'm alone in suggesting that all of the candidates this year lack a certain 'gravitas'. They're all little more than empty suits, it seems to me...with the exception, perhaps of Rudy Giuliani...who, as ex-Mayor of New York City, a former crony and supporter of the federally indicted Bernard Kerik, on the very front lines on September 11th, and presently working on his third marriage...has probably got enough drama, back-story and 'gravitas' for all of the candidates put together.
But Giuliani is a turd.
So where does that leave us as we limp into 2008 and beyond? With a war on two fronts (Iraq and Afghanistan), another one (with Iran) seemingly looming, oil at $100/barrel, gas at upwards of $3/gallon and housing, jobs and currency woes?
All of this, and Britney Spears??
Tokenism is not the answer. In the desperate ‘bucket list’-like race to install a black or woman president, there's one simple fact that keeps being ignored: the black and the woman in this race are not QUALIFIED. Are they?
Hillary's husband being president does not make Hillary qualified...and maybe it's just me, but the word ‘change’ does not really make it as a campaign promise. Whether it's Hillary because she's a woman, Obama because his skin isn't ‘white’ ... John Edwards, because he wants to end the 'old boy' corporate/lobbyist culture in Washington (which, funnily enough, so did our current unqualified White House resident) ...
‘Change’ as a concept is all well and good. As a practice, it's essential. As a WORD...just an empty promise from empty suits. It's as meaningless as tears from a crocodile.
NEIL KOPULIS ... Likes You!
Read more Neil Kopulis from the pages of the Lake Superior Sounder - coming soon
Take a Peek
at some published snatches from
UNDERWEAR WOMAN DIGS THE SEA
These are Some Travel Stories!
South Rise"Standing like stone at Prytania and Terpsichore...Wishing they'd won that Civil War"
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Contact"Tap Tap go my teeth as I gawk in the mirror. I tap them: They're hard, sort of white...One is broken"
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The Venezuelan Dairy Case"'I think it's something interesting to talk to you,' she says to me"
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Hung Hannah"It’s usually the cutie-pies who get me: The smiling-with-tongues-leaking-out-of-their-teeth ones…"
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Mornings"I don’t know anymore how to do it. Can’t seem to sit down and write some things…"
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Left Coastin' (Some LA Scenes)
"The park breaks Piggett Drive at Bentley. Who says you can't walk out here?"
published Fiction (mostly)
